Monday, August 26, 2013
LEARNING TO LOVE
Wrote this years ago.. just found it and i thought it might still make sense though
The word "LOVE" comes to mind in nearly all strata of our daily dealings in life, 60% of this times it is in a male female context that we interpret as relationships or more technically dating, then we have families, friends and generally the world we know or that which we know little or nothing about. Four letters makes the word "LOVE" in English language, three letters do the magic in Yoruba language "IFE" and so on with diverse representation in various languages and culture in Nigeria and the world over.
God tells us a lot about love in the scriptures… yes a lot but I can only remember a few of those right now. There are some part of the Bible where it says
"Owe no man nothing but love"---More like an instruction for compassion, not sounding like a must do.
"Husbands love your wife as the Lord loves the church"---A command, leaves no room for options.
"Love your neighbours as yourself"---I think this command was issued somewhere in Leviticus (old school)
"Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who insult you and persecute you"---This is the big one and it’s in the new school Mat 5:44/6:27 and that's the KJV of it. There are more but I can't dig it all up right now.
All that I have listed above are basically instructions from God that we must embrace and obey but a question somehow got stuck in my head. Knowing I have to love every human dead or alive somehow no matter the level of diversity of the relationship existing between us all calls for different modes and intensity/degree of love. This sounds like a great task, I think I will be needing a whole lot of grace and mercy.
Love for me is not an emotional phenomenon although it has the strand of affection attached to it. It is a feeling that should exist naturally and should be devoid of deceit and found naturally amongst all things living (Animals, plants, viruses etc), spirits (angels, demons etc) and none living things (rivers, gems, etc). Love for me should be cognitive, developable, controllable and totally devoid of emotion (when required) that could be one sided or mutual depending on the parameters substantiating the relationship existing between the two love elements. I have friends and enemies that I have been able to love and they somehow became brothers. It begins professionally sometimes and but we figured it out and now we've gone the whole length of friendship to become family. I sat down to do some analysis and got a bit locked in this thought process, so I thought maybe sharing this will help.
Case 1: Love is caring I guess?
Imagine this scenario.
I have a female colleague or class mate (a girl and I am a guy). Based on my own unbiased understanding of the instructions in Romans, I decided to be a bit more caring and affectionate, truthfully and nice. How do I get this simple message or love across without making her feel the emotional kind of love she knows or probably running through her veins? How do I explain that I am only obeying God's commandment without making the matter more complicated.
Can someone please help with this?
How do I make the girl next door understand that her new undergraduate status or the fact that I just got back from the states that is making me say hi to her, that it's because I know her before the change of status and that shouldn’t bore a whole in her mind or perception because everybody else that said hi to her since her hips got bigger while I was away wanted a piece of it. How should I attempt to get across and not have it interpreted as a chase or my looking away be conceived as pride. Is it the world around her that as tuned her perception, making her a cynic or should I go spiricoco just to make it look like I just want nothing more. How will my friendly gestures and rueful smiles not be continuously misinterpreted for the love flesh even though it is the love of God for a friend I once had and have always known before the big break in transmission necessitated by the pursuit of value and excellence?
What defines the love I have or feel for a woman? My appearance or her perception. Why is she all careful and think it is pure deception even when it is pure genuine desire. Why is she not cool with the truth, why will a sister prefer the flattery and daily eschew the brother that speaks the truth from the heart. Why the chase? How do you make the truth sound sweet without putting the lies she loves to hear? Why will she prefer a lying tongue to the truth the scriptures speaks in white and black and claim to be a Christian. How will a man really love a woman who desires deception from deep within? What is love got to do in such situation and how does love apply.
Pardon the stupidity of this post but love hey!
The curves of love are sharper than the meanders of the Zambezi river and the edge steeper than the edges of a rake angle. Though many a times we seek to do that which the Lord instruct, the complicated nature of this abstract feeling makes it a perfect but incorrigible and inconsistent no go area especially for me at steeper degree and in-comprehensive levels. Although I believe in love because I feel it in different ways every day, it is multifaceted and thus should be treated as a field of study and not just a word we use whenever we feel have brain generated instantaneous emotional feeling.
Jacob made it sound simple though "he saw, comforted and loved her" just like that… I think it should be that simple. I hope to work and walk in that realm someday, and I hope the sister will be receptive live Rachael abi who be that Jacob victim self.