Dear MTN Nigeria

Dear MTN NIGERIA,

It's been four five years since I last won anything from you guys, yes five good years and it was a bag that I won for writing my beautiful Iya Toyin a beautiful poem on Mothers Day. Ever since then, i have tried everything within my power to add another feather to it but with no success. A recap of some of the things i've done in defence of MTN Nigeria over the years scares even men.

In 2009, a fought a friend of mine for turning that your logo tune "do re mi re do re do" to "Dem dey give us wahala o". Not for once did I get a single min of free call for my wahala, not a minute more for XtraCool at night.

2010, I slapped a bus conductor and pushed him out of a moving bus for referring to MTN's network as "network oshi" meaning "rubbish network", i was never compensated for the heroic, a single minute would have made me throw a pilot out the plane for MTN, so sad i got none.

2011 was the year I road a bicycle from Fandum to Hadejia in search of signal so I could call Lagos, even though their was network on the Glo lines of my colleagues, i refused their offer to use their phones to make the call. I even received calls in Germany without roaming in thesame year with my hard earned credit and tweeted at MTN from Frankfurt in September in attempt to win free recharge card during your 10years anniversary to no avail, infact i didn't get a retweet but still I stayed with you. You can check your records, my twitter hand is @enyola.

In 2012, I bought a blackberry and subscribed every month of the year from April, I looked forward to more but the best I got was extension of BIS, not even a minute of free call, none that I know of. Even when I texted WIN to those number, I only got debited, I didn't win "shishi". I was hoping I would win the aeroplane on offer sef, in fact I went to Yaw's house to ask if I needed to text the entry in his accent to win the aeroplane but instead, you gave the Cessna 182T aircraft of the MTN Ultimate Wonder promo to Ebube Essien-Garricks, was it because her surname sounds like "Gatwick Airport"?

2013 was amazing but you guys didn't offer us another plane. Don't pretend like you are afraid of NCC, you've not stopped sending us the SMS even after you've been warned never to send it to us again. I have never complained, in fact, i read every SMS you sent, hoping to find info that i've won your head office since that's the only thing that could be bigger than winning an airplane.. becoming your landlord would have been perfect.

This is 2014 and today is Dec. 2nd, Are my not going to get the chance to win something this year? When will I win again? I have considered two possibilities, I changed my nickname to "Odeku" and started drinking only Big Stout "Odeku" just in case last years promo was going to be something related to winning your head office; going in sync with Garricks/Gatwick experience. I also added Diamond to my real name and I opened a y'hello account and I've been listening to only music from MTN ambassadors, adding only Diamond Platinumz songs to my playlist with the hope that this year 2014 will be the opportunity to WIN Diamond Bank your new partners. I'm patiently waiting for you guys to roll the promo out, it's December already and the new year is just a few days away.

I've defended MTN even when there was no network on my phone, bought recharge card even when I'd not eaten and refused to borrow airtime even with the text I get everyday congratulating me that I'm eligible, so you'll know I won't be borrowing money from Diamond Bank when I win it in the MTN Promo.
Dear MTN South Africa please notify MTN Nigeria that I'm ready to win Diamond Bank. If they don't want to make it public, they should contact me here so we can start making arrangement for the handing over. I will like to be just though, I want everybody to know that I won it, I don't want it to look like I did ojoro so please contact me before Santa chooses to offer me something bigger and I will be forced to reject your offer.

Don't thank me for choosing MTN.
Sincerely,
Babaolowo

PS: On the evening of the day I wrote and posted this on Facebook, MTN sent me a text, asking me to spend N7000 in other to enjoy Awoof on Jumia! Walahi, this is height of wickedness

I Write What I Like

THAT RELIGIOUS DEMON CALLED "WOMEN ABUSE"/"DOMESTIC VIOLENCE" IS NOT AFRICAN

I recently came across a Facebook status on a female friend's page claiming being "misogynist" a Nigerian culture and an African thing. 90% of the comments on the post described an average African of being vindictive of women rights, denying them even the humanity that is free for all. All the negative comments in support came from women who probably have sons, brothers and fathers who they describe to be good men in the same comment box, a submission which immediately reverses their well painted picture of a vile African male. I found this almost unbelievable because I am African, I grew up in a rural and very rustic environment where every woman was a jewel. I began to wonder, "Is she referring to the Nigerian culture I know or there is another Nigeria somewhere in Asia". Even if this claims are true, an average African male is raised by a women, it this not a submission that African women are experts at raising misogynists.

The African culture that I know is one that strives to preserve her women from childhood, protect and re-present them at adulthood with pride. Where I grew up in Nigeria, it's a place where the sun wakes up with pride and goes to sleep with grinning smiles, our women define everything, they define the parents and they are basically the yardstick for assessing the standard and morality of every home that has one in it.

Man stands while his wife takes the confort of the seat--source: alexandraphanor.com

It is confusing when you see Nigerians, Ghanians, Kenyan, Somalian and Africans in general taking responsibility for crimes they didn't commit or an identity that is not their own. I am a bit livid when Africans attribute wrong doings to their Africaness, terms like "Africa Time", "Africa Style", "Nigerian Factor" and other submissions that directly negates being black leaves me in a rage like a mother who knows his son is still alive but can't do anything to stop his being buried alive. It kills and burns me from the inside, therefore I must speak against it.

Domestic violence is as universal phenomenon and women being subordinated is a worldwide situation and has nothing to do with BEING AFRICAN. I don't support abuse in any way and never will. I believe the place of a woman in a family is to be the support structure and mechanism, not the spearhead. Although women are the stronger element in a family system if we analyze critically, I personally from my experience believe their emotional chemistry is perfected to complement and my opinion has nothing to do with being a Christian, Muslim or African... It is my understanding of human nature.

I grew up in a African home where my mum doubled as dad when I was younger, my dad was a regional officer for a food and beverage company so he traveled a lot. My name Abidemi simply tells the tale that my dad was away when I was born, a reflection of the daunting responsibility my mum had to bear because I was the fifth of six children. I pounded yam with my mum and sisters and uncle, not because my dad demanded pounded instead of "Poundo", it was my mum's choice because she's from Ekiti. In fact my mum sold "Poundo-Yam" in her super-store but we still pounded because she loved the real thing better. The beauty of this pounding experience is that my dad can pound too and he does wherever he was then… It was never my mum or the girls responsibility to cook, it was everybody's duty and as I grew up, I got on the kitchen roaster. Even as hard as it was to have the time, there were those magic moments when daddy got in the kitchen, yes he gets his turn too. Maybe we can say she abused my dad in this situation. If my dad finds a shirt on the ironing board, he irons it before asking "whose shirt is this" and that is probably in process of ironing his wife's clothes. Cooking and laundry was a collective work, not just in my house but in almost every home I know, and that is a very wide network, across states and regions, there was never a case blatant subordination.

Here in Lagos Nigeria where I live, you see fathers dropping off and picking up their children from schools, they take their children to the salon for haircut, they bath their children, tell bedtime stories, swing them to sleep and sometimes back their children when mummy is probably busy doing other things. An average home is a typical team of father, mother, grandmas, aunties, cousins and maids (for those that use maids), trying to support each other and raise the children against all odds, and the mother is always the nucleus. I am surprised when the tag "Africans" or "Nigerians are misogynist" is used. How will you tag a man whose house is naturally filled with women a hater of women? It is a paradox.

I have heard and heard horrific tales of domestic violence and abuse from around the world, I heard of situations of abuse with people that are close to me but I am yet to see an horrific situation within my community and I am Nigerian and African. Even the thugs on the streets respect women, and it is no gain-saying when you hear gist about thugs hiding their guns from their mum or girlfriend.

I am Nigerian, 100% African and I don't see anything African about being abusive or vindictive in relationships or family. Just the way the Europeans can boast of kings and queens, we Africans have a rich history of queens and powerful women that still walked and still walk our continent, so much that even the Bible recorded during the days of Solomon and of the Persian king who made Esther his queen. The practice of women subordination is a religious import from the Arabian gulf and not an African identity. Before Christianity and Islam came to Africa, our lives were built and patterned around our women, they were the centre of everything and there was no King without the exalted office of a Queen and a King's Mother, there was no place for a King's father. Maltreatment of women is not African, it was never in our culture and not in the dictates or our tradition as far as I know, ours was a world built around the beauty of our women in all its form.

African women were the crown of their men's head and the pride of their children. Everywhere else, they had gods and gods alone, here in Africa, we had gods and goddesses, and the beauty of the gods was that there was none without a goddess beside him, and we had goddesses without gods to match and still we worshipped them without discrimination. Ever heard of The Queen of Sheba, Kandake or Kentake of Kush, Queen Amina, Cleopatra, Moremi et al… Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti was on the entourage of great Nigerians that gave Nigeria her freedom, the richest black women are Africans living in Africa… so if we empower our women so much, where on earth did it become the culture of Africa to subordinate the women we worship and adore?

Here in Africa, our women are independent, but in the Arab world, women have no rights, women are not even allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, so how did subordination become our own? It doesn't look like the women in the West Bank and Middle East are doing better, nor the women in other parts of the world. I've seen abuse in the United Kingdom even under the reign of her majesty and nobody seems to call it an European or English thing. There are videos across the internet of both white men and black women abusing men and women in the Americas but nobody has tagged it an American thing, why do we Africans now readily accept to be bad and are eager to claim the forced identity the western world has placed on us with a faulty h cooked up history, cooked up about the beautiful Africa they met, and has worked hard to belittle and destroy. If the libraries of Mansa Musa are still lined with our great scientific and explorative exploit, why then do we still see so little of ourselves. Abuse is an international behaviour and it is majorly fueled by religions that are not native to Africa so I dare say nobody should make it an African identity. Black is Black and not bad.

In Africa , our culture is to love and respect our women. Ask an Igbo woman whose parents value more than a thousand male son or the Calabar bride in a fattening room. The "Jigida" is not for tying but for adorning our women, the "Ileke" is not a shackle, it is a jewelry and all of this were invented to appreciate the beauty of our African woman. Women abuse to my understanding is a foreign culture that was passed into the African system through religion (Christianity and Islam) it has never and will ever be our identity. Even if our culture and tradition places a man as the head in Africa, it recognises our women as the priceless pillar and body, without which the head is a decoration, and more importantly the heart of all our being. Our culture is designed to keep them that way, It is religion that has "Yerima'd" our culture.

Here in my part of Nigeria, here is a song we sing for our brides "Ile awa dun, oko ni fo aso... Ile awa dun, oko ni n ponmi... Ile awa dun, oko ni n lota..." (Our home is lovely, the husband takes care of all domestic responsibility).

I am Abidemi "Babaolowo" Oderinlo

I Write What I Like, I Live What I write

Twitter: @enyola

WILLIAMS J.K.F WRITES TO THE “DEFENDERS” OF MR. PRESIDENT

After barrages of attacks from the defenders of Goodluck Jonathan’s administration in Nigeria, the fearless Williams J.K.F who has been inking his opinion in response to the address of Goodluck during his 2015 ambition declaration takes on the defenders of the Nigerian president in another classic, insight-filled letter. This patriotic Nigerian seems to be loaded with the right antidote for mediocrity, here the juice of the letter begins on the next line you will be reading.

“Good morning “defenders” of our president and finally, good morning, Mr. President. The calls and messages I received yesterday was overwhelming just because of “simple” questions we asked our president. But instead allowing Mr. President to reply our questions himself or even through Mr. Rueben Abbati, the “defenders” took it upon themselves to accuse and abuse me. None of them mentioned anything reasonable, the only rant I’m hearing is that I’m inciting the youths against the president. It’s either I don’t know the meaning of the adjective (incite) or it was just wrongly used. Because you can’t incite those who know and understand condition(s). Again, some section said the president is not at fault but the people working for him or working with him and as such what he need from us is prayers and fasting. Based on this, I’m going to reply fully to those who think what the president need is not criticism (either constructive or venomous), but our prayers and fasting. Fellow comrade and “defenders”, follow me as I explain myself again…

On our refineries, it’s either I’m wrongly informed or I’m not in this country, this is the sixth years in office of Mr. President, please tell me, how many refinery(ies) has/have been constructed in the last six years? All we hear everyday are “rehabilitating”, “repairing”, “renewing” etc of the old ones. Are there no land again in Nigeria to build more? How many months does it take to build a refinery? How can our country be buying what we have in abundant? How can the children of a great hunter be eating legs of chickens? Where are we on refinery please? If our president cannot add more refinery(ies) in six years, how can he add in the next four years? Since the “defenders” have taken his case upon themselves, I wish they can constructively convince me on this.

On the recently concluded National Conference, the delegates (485 in number) were paid a weekly “remuneration” of N1.4 million each. This money were paid directly into each delegate’s personal account. And guess what, the money was paid like that until they finished the conference. N1.4 Million weekly! And when asked, the president said; “Its just a pastry gift in appreciation of their dedication and seriousness to move the country forward”. I’m not jealous of the money, far from it, but the promptness and dexterity in which our president handled the case is encouraging, despite the fact that most of them are either sleeping or paying scrabbles. If the same seriousness is given to all our sectors, we could have gone far than this.

I will encourage the defenders of our President to read about Taiwan. ‘Why Taiwan?’ you may ask, well, Taiwan is a barren rock-laden country with virtually no mineral resources in commercial quantity, in fact, Taiwan need to export sand from China for their constructions, but guess what? Taiwan is the fourth richest country in term of GDP. What did their reasonable leaders did? Instead of their president giving gifts to less than 500 “brilliant and outstanding” delegates, he shared the gifts to all his less than 30 million citizens; he gave substantial educational gift to his fellow citizens, he gave reasonable electricity gift to his people, he gave appreciable medical and health care gifts to his country, he gave considerable transportation, employment, security and good governance gifts to his people. That is why Taiwan is where they are today. I want the defenders of our President to swear if they have never used Taiwan products before? That is the outcome of the rigorous work their president embarked on, that is what I call real good luck.

The N1.8 million daily “feeding” money of the president is enough proof that he does not need my fasting. How can I fast for someone who uses over One Billion Naira to feed in a year? With 30 million naira budgeted for the feeding of just 2 lions in Aso Rock, I want those who say I should be praying for the President daily to give me one reason why he need my prayer and the prayers of others who he has betrayed. Are you saying that the lives of Two animals are worth more than ours? The N1.6 Billion spent on “repairing” one out of the 7 aircrafts can change the lives of many graduates. To the defenders, should I continue?

On corruption, hmmmmmmmn. EOD. ICPC has become a ghost and the eagle logo of EFCC has been stylishly changed to parrot. During the period of OBJ, even if people are accusing Obasanjo then that he’s using these anti-corruption agencies to witch-hunt his enemies, at least we are seeing results. Even his fellow people are not spared; Police Heads, Politicians, Legislators, Governors etc were also exposed and many prosecuted. To the defenders, lets assume fighting corruption is “witch-hunting”, how many people has our president been able to “Witch-hunt” in the last six years?

The defenders should realise that we are in this together, so its either we do it right or we get it right. If nothing is being done by us now, if we still continue in sentiments, if we still engage in regional sympathy, our unborn children will not forgive us, the coming generations will not be impressed by us.

Hope is a feeling that better things lie ahead. But hope only makes sense where it can be converted to reality. I hope our wishfulness will be converted to reality. Because we were not suppose to know and understand the meaning of poverty in this great country. Pessimism should not be the best way to express our emotional feelings towards this country. We all deserve better than what we are getting. We were not suppose to be brought up this way. But if the defenders think we can all be bought, coerced or sweet-talked, then they should expect the unexpected. I want you (the defenders) and Mr. President to know that there is a limit to hope! Reasonable people, good morning.”

Williams J.K. Fortune

WILLIAMS J.K.F WRITES PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN ANOTHER INSIGHT-FILLED OPEN LETTER

In continuation of his response to Mr. President’s address at his declaration on 11/11/2014, Williams J.K.F continues to share insights on not just how Jonathan has failed, but suggesting how he could have done better in an article he titled “Mr. President, All I Need Are Explanations And Convincing Way Forward”.

In our opinion, this is an awakening, and we hope somebody in the office of the presidency in Nigeria is reading this to the president. Here’s the letter:

“Mr. President, All I Need Are Explanations And Convincing Way Forward.”

Good day Mr. President, and congratulations on your yesterday’s declaration. Well, I wrote you yesterday and some section of your fans wanted to lynch me online. One of them even took it upon himself to kill me on your behalf by threatening me through private chats; he accused me of not having respect and asking if I can talk to my father the way I “talked” to you yesterday. Though I duly replied him that if you were to be my father, I would have talked to you more than that since I will be the one facing the heat outside. In summary sir, please pardon me on my confrontation and also forgive me in advance on the other questions I want to ask. All I need today are just explanations and convincing way forward, either from you, from the admin of your page or from those who think you need to continue. Thank you in anticipation for positive consideration sir.

Mr. President, from your body language and distraction anthem your fans are hammering on concerning the issues of security, it seems “your hands are tied” again or you have been totally distracted as well, because the security is so porous to the extent that Boko Haram now share fliers in Barracks. Let me remind you of another leader in the past who was also “distracted by his enemies” but prevailed. Let me take you back to 2001 when Osama and his boys (Advanced Boko Haram) bombed America in September 11, 2001, their President (George W. Bush) then was the rallying point for his people, there were pains in his heart, yet his body language was relieving and his voice reassuring. This was what George Bush told the American people; “Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom. Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution. Whether we bring our enemies to justice or we bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done”. After the address, he moved into action immediately and make sure that their version of Boko Haram never strike again in his land. Meanwhile after a terrorist attack in Nigeria in 2012, this was what you said sir; “…Calm down. Terrorist attacks happen everywhere…”. Now sir, let us compare your statement to Bush’s statement. If your enemies are the Boko Haram as we all presumed and you yourself accepted, I wonder why you are still sparing your enemies. If your enemies are ghosts and faceless as you claimed Sir, I wonder the spiritual method you are using to negotiate with ghosts. Sir, you are the Commander-in-Chief, after God, you are the most powerful man in Nigeria, the “First-born”, the Number One citizen, the rallying-point and first father of the most populous black nation on earth! If your hands are tied, what will be the fate of the rest of us? Mr. President, since your hands are not tied to declare re-election, please sir, I need an explanation on the insecurity.

Mr. President, on the issue of the abducted future wives, mothers, custodians and heroines of this country by these same sects, please Sir, if one of them were to be your daughter, will they still be there? Mr. President Sir, incase you are not pondering what I’m pondering; I can imagine these girls with ages ranging from 16 to 22 being sexually assaulted everyday! I can imagine some of these girls, out of fear and struggle of preventing these fools from touching them being beaten, tortured and subjected to inhuman treatments. I can imagine the mercilessness with which the criminals will force themselves into these girls, some of whom would still be virgins and experiencing it for the first time with criminals. I can imagine these girls sleeping on a bare ground of a cursed forest, an environment polluted with guns, deceased bodies, bullets, filth, sorrows, tears and blood. I can imagine these innocent girls being infected with diseases….out of no fault of theirs, but the ill luck of being Nigerians. I can imagine these girls so dirty, since they have no new clothes to wear and no adequate water to bath. I can imagine some of these girls on their monthly periods with no sanitary pads and necessary items to use. I can imagine some of these girls with health issues without treatment since the fools even abhor western education. I can imagine some of these girls developing mental disorder since they have never been subjected to these kinds of inhuman treatments in their little years of existence. I can imagine some of these girls contacting diseases in a bush filled with human bodies, nauseating odours, rodents, reptiles, ants, flies, mosquitoes etc. I can imagine these girls getting leaner everyday as a result of inadequate food supplies. I can imagine these girls cursing the day they were born as a result of the unbearable treatments they were subjecting them to. I can imagine the skin of these girls changing since they are not used to that kind of environment. I have to stop here sir as my emotion has taken the better part of me.

Mr. President, this is more than 230 days; 230 days of pains for these queens, 230 days of sexual abuse, 230 days of trauma, 230 days of psychological moratorium, 230 of mental disorder, 230 of emotional disorientation, 230 of moral fragmentation, Mr. President, more than 230 days of cries sir by these damsels. Put yourself in their shoes sir, their only sin is because they found themselves in a country where their leaders are heartless and the opposition are inconsiderate. Mr. President, please explain to me what I don’t understand on this issue.

Mr. President Sir, on the youths, though many of them are singing your praises that you are the best that has happened to their existence, but sir, for those of us who are not too impressed, let us revisit the immigration exercise that killed nothing less than 27 vibrant and promising youths including a pregnant lady. For your information sir, out of the approximately 170 million Nigerians, 70% are made up of the youths, meaning we have 119 million youths! Among these 119 million, only 13% (15,470,000) are gainfully employed, while the rest 103,530,000 are either “grudgingly” employed, under-employed or “totally” unemployed! I might be wrong sir, but I’m not too far from the truth.

Incase you don’t know sir, many centers across the country did not even write the exams; Lagos State did not write exams despite extortion and deliberate increase in writing materials. Kogi state did not write exams as the centre was converted to a delivery room as 2 pregnant job seekers delivered successfully. Did I hear you saying “Praise The Lord!”? I join you in saying “Alhamdulillahi” (I hope I got it), but they might have delivered out of stress since there was no sign of “labour” before they left their various houses. Abia state did not see exam papers until 7pm! Portharccourt did not write any exams either, neither did many states. Abuja recorded the highest casualties as the stadium was converted to a slaughter centre. Though the Comptroller-General came out on national televisions to “thank” Nigerians for the “success” of the exercise and promised to “do more”. I’m still praying for the comptroller till today; his children and grandchildren will share from the “successes” of the affected youths too. Now sir, you never revisited that ugly casualty, you never mentioned it anywhere, you never commiserate with the parents of these fallen Nigerians. Sir, till today, no arrest, no query, no enquiry, no remorse, nothing! Sir, please explain what I don’t underhand in this area.

I have lots to ask you Sir, but I have to wait for the replies of the ones I have asked. All I just need are convincing explanations sir. I know you know that I have reasons to ask you since I campaigned and voted for you, so I have reason to know what you have done with the trust I invested in you and on you Sir.

Once again Sir, in this country, hunger should not be a recurrent thing in our lives. Unemployment should not be a genetic thing. Poverty should not be an inheritance. Okrika should not be a family tradition. Begging should not be a custom. We deserve employment, good governance, accountability, social and infrastructural amenities and sound education for all. This is what our country need, I have plenty of confidence in this country, but are we short of good men to place our confidence in? I doubt it, I believe you are equal to the task, but please convince me with your explanations.

Thank you sir.

NIGERIAN WRITER WILLIAMS J.K.F GIVES THE MOST INSIGHTFUL RESPONSE TO GEJ DECLARATION SPEECH

Within minutes of the release of President Goodluck Jonathan’s speech on his official Facebook page, a concerned Nigerian as responded with an insightful letter, exposing every loophole in his claims of four years of achievement. Here is a link to the official declaration speech

>>> Click here to read President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan 2015 Declaration Speech

Below is the letter written in response by Williams Johnson Fortune.

Williams Johnson Fortune  Wrote:

“Dear President Jonathan,

I have watched you in the last one year jump from pillar to post under the pretext of governance; clinging to the inconsequential and deliberately ignoring that which the times demand of governance in today’s Nigeria. From the moment you were sworn in as an elected president, it’s been a galore of gaffes and conscious distraction of Nigerians from the things that actually do matter to them.

Within weeks of your presidency, your first executive move was to amend the constitution so as to allow for president and governors to serve just one term of six years in office. Not sooner than the dust raised by that move settled, you declared an economic war on the Nigerian people with an imposition of fuel tax, called fuel subsidy removal, which was just a way designed for you to avoid confronting your friends and officials who defrauded the country you preside over.

Mr President, you may recall that October 2 years ago, during a church service to commemorate Nigeria’s Independence Day, you lamented that we condemn you at home while Obama commends you abroad. Even then, we argued that Obama’s commendation of you – whatever it was meant to achieve – was ill-timed and ill-informed. We reasoned that we were the ones who elected you our president and so were best qualified to assess your performance in office. Today, the table has turned. Does Obama still commend you? Just in case you haven’t heard, the United States government has seen you for whom you are – a president who presides over a criminal empire without making any meaningful efforts to curtail corruption. Before you dismiss my message as another baseless rant from a disgruntled opposition member, well, you are wrong sir as I voted for you in that election without compromising.

I will go straight again to your last year’s Democracy Day speech. As expected, it could not boast of any visible achievement other than economic indices and statistics that were quite divorced from the stark realities on ground. You showed an amazing excitement when you announced your administration’s empowerment of 1200 youths who benefitted from your Youth Enterprise with Innovative Programme, YouWin. I was surprised that such was considered an achievement by you Sir let alone being included in your anniversary speech. Mr President, may I humbly inform you that 70 per cent of the Nigerian population is comprised of people who are thirty five years and below? Each year, Sir, the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) churns out at least 100 thousand young Nigerians who throng into the labour market in search of nonexistent jobs. This is in spite of the fact that a larger percentage of those who passed out before them may not have gotten jobs. So why should we be excited about 1200 people in a population of 170 million? Is it a deliberate celebration of mediocrity or just an attempt to appear serious with the job we elected you to do?

In reference to electricity supply, you said, “By mid-2010, the national power output was about 2, 800 MW. By the end of 2011, we reached a peak of more than 4, 000 MW. A National Gas Emergency Plan has also been launched to redress the problem of gas supply which are essentially due to poor planning.”

Curiously, you didn’t tell us where we were by end of May, or mid-May this year, the period you were reeling out the your achievements. So I ask now, Mr President, where are we on power generation? How many megawatts have we achieved between 2011 and mid-May, 2014?

Where we are on electricity generation, Mr President, is on the region of total darkness. The wattage is negligible. Nauseating sound of generators still buzz in my neighbourhood daily, and darkness is the light in the villages where poverty even bites harder. That must be why you jumped it.

The efforts you put in advertising your cassava bread, if not tragic, would have been funny. You cannot re-write history Sir, Cassava bread is not novel. Your constant efforts to lay claim to it as your achievement in office is worrisome. For the records, on 1st July, 2005, Obasanjo’s government made it mandatory for bakers to include 10% of cassava flour in the production of bread. I followed that administration closely. Yet even at that ,you cannot force people to eat what they do not want. Telling us you eat it makes no difference in our lives. Our billions are stolen by the day, anyway; and you watch without taking any punitive action against the criminals.

Your penchant for majoring in minor, if not entirely irrelevant issues, should worry every sound mind. Your change of my school, Unilag to MKO Abiola University just by a presidential fiat betrayed your love for vanity; your lack of appreciation for substance. And as expected, it stirred up eruptions in the school. Yet rather than quickly reconsider your stand, you declared to many who think you made another gaffe; “no going back”. I know political expediency informed that decision. But unfortunately, that was politically incorrect. It has boomeranged, and will not shield you from the harsh verdict of your critics, which is that your years in office as president was a total failure.

It was a shock to me that you ended your speech without making any mention of the fuel subsidy scam – the biggest in Nigeria’s history. You said nothing about your plans to prosecute the offenders. In case you don’t know, Mr President, the amount involved in that fraud is N2.6trillion, more than half of our annual budget. If that is not weighty enough to cause you to act, I wonder what will. Should I mention the abducted girls? Should I mention the porous security? I dont need to bother sir.

You could see, Mr President, that I didn’t have time to pretend about the message I wanted to pass across. You already have enough praise singers to last you a lifetime. Pardon my directness, it was meant to deliver the message in a manner you will be stirred to act.

Do have a great day, Sir. I hope the domestic staff will remember to not prepare imported rice for this your occasion. Kindly remind them of your “resolve to always eat local rice”. Today should be for Abakaliki or Ofada. Though I will still vote for you since there are no better alternatives, but sincerely sir, I’m not impressed.

And lest I forget; happy declaration Mr President!”

We believe Williams has spoken for everyday Nigerians who are neither religious or ethnically biased about the current spate of governance in Nigeria, we will like to hear your opinions too.

Africans Awake!

GEJ’s Explosive Leadership of “IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS”

For those who know him, he’s still the same man… For those who don’t, his name is Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GEJ), the presiding President of the United States of Nigeria.

It’s now a normal thing for bombs and grenades to go off in certain parts of Nigeria as if it’s some fire-crackers going off during Diwali celebration within the Indian communities in Anthony, Lagos. It’s goes off here and there and everybody just walks by, including the President, the Commander in Chief of all security agencies in the federating states called Nigeria. It is becoming rather unbecoming and quite so sad that the only people that are now affected by these incidents are the victims and their families, even the governors have resolved to pointing to the GEJ, who in turn turns his face the other way in what I will describe in street language as “Ko Kanye”. The Yorubas will say, “Eni a mori I ba ku” meaning “It only becomes my business when those affected are my own”. Fair enough I would say but the last time I checked, every citizen of this beautiful country is GEJ’s business, so if he chooses to ignore the plight of a single citizen, he’s definitely ignoring the plight of every Nigerian citizen. Perhaps he’s more concerned about the crude in the bowel of this great ship called NIGERIA as the captain, and not the crew that makes the cheap move from bay to bay.

I will reference a few incidents that we are all aware of and I hope everybody reading this will agree with me that at some point, we need to wake up and either boycott or cut out this unholy situation by saying “Enough Is Enough” with a louder voice as Nigerians.

This administration started out on an explosive note in 2010 and hasn’t stopped announcing its intentions with explosions. MEND claimed responsibility for the Abuja bombing in 2010 prior to his declaration but GEJ came out to defend MEND, he categorically stated that it is impossible for MEND to be the culprit in a crime they claimed all by themselves that they committed. The refusal of Henry Okah to get MEND to retract the statement landed him in a South African jail, even with the amount of evidence he presented to show how he was innocent, and how it was a faction of MEND that perpetrated the crime under the defined request of GEJ in an attempt to criminalize the north and present them as saboteurs to his presidential ambitions. The interesting thing in that situation was that the president was more concerned about the criminals than the victims of the crime; his energy was more on exonerating his Ijaw brothers without dishing out justice for the victims. He was complicity in the accusations and counter-accusation so there was no way he was going to nail himself. The dead went ahead and buried their dead and that was the last time he cared about either the bombers or “bombee”.

Fast forward to the new era bombers in boko haram, led by the undisputable Emir of the new caliphates of the Nigeria North Eastern kingdom Shekau, it has been a more explosive experience and since those claiming responsibility are those GEJ wants to be responsible for the crime, neither the bombers, nor the victim are any of his business. I will highlight a few examples that will delight you so you know how uncaring GEJ got over the years. These are events you already know, open facts that will solidify the present attitude of GEJ about the nation and her people.

Sometimes in April 2014, two bombs went off in Abuja the capital city, it took the life of so many Nigerians and we got lucky; GEJ visited the bomb site and paparazzi went wild. His campaign in Kano was due a few days after, instead of showing some milk of human kindness, even if it had to be pretense by canceling the Kano jamboree or something in the class of the crocodile tears of Buhari in those years, but he couldn’t hold his excitement. Naturally one would have taught that the tragic event that led to the world wild campaign #BringBackOurGirls would have dampened his excitement when it happened on April 14, it didn’t, by the next day, GEJ was in Kano dancing “Shoki”. A wiser campaigner would have been remorseful about the incident but “ko kanye mehn!” our dear president grooved under the umbrella like 99. As far as he was concerned, no Ijaw girl was involved. See picture of the dance moves of GEJ in concert below.

Fast forward again to the event of the last few days. I read in the news today and on the official Facebook page of the Nigerian Police Force that all roads leading to Eagles Square will be on lock down because our Golden Son of Otueke GEJ will be declaring what we know already, his intention to run and fail in the next election. The interesting thing about it is that the way Shekau is going, boko might take over Abuja before February 2015. However it is a paradox that the same thing is repeating itself all over again. We’ve had two suicide bombs in Potiskum in just seven days interval and our dear GEJ will not even beg to postpone his declaration or show concern about the events, and rally round to make things work out just better. No moves to improve or install securities at various schools in Northern Nigeria, but every military and police apparatus is taking the roads in Abuja 11/11/14. 

There are no better words to describe the action of our so-called president so far, he’s told us in all Nigerian languages except Swahili that “It’s none of my business”, it is now our choice to decide whether we will continue to make Aso rock his abode since he’s no more interested in the people he’s supposed to represent form the Rock Throne.

I hope you’ve registered to vote, I hope you are ready to kick these bastards under the tattered umbrella out of site. Let’s hope Shekau who has made it is business doesn’t get there before we decide because while GEJ is preparing to declare, Maiha Local Government Area in Adamawa State has been overtaken by Boko Haram militants.

I Am Abidemi "Babaolowo" Oderinlo

I Write What I like, I Live What I Write
@enyola