She Said No!

Poetic Justice to rape by @ceefour

She said no
It meant no, and not yes
You grabbed her hair
And tore her dress.
And bruised her flesh.
What you didn't know
Was the gaping hole you left in her soul.
What you didn't know...


Daddy was never around
Mother said he was in heaven
Grandma said he was in hell
Years ago, like you today
Violence had conceived you
Your mothers freedom to choose
Taken from her.
Bruised. Humiliated. Denied. Abandoned. Then you.


She would swear she taught you better.
Respect. Especially for a woman's choice.
Self-control. Because that is how men ruled the world.
Love. Because it isn't forceful, nor violent and never about sex.


She said no.
It meant no, and not yes.
You grabbed her hair
And tore her dress.
And the demon, the hate, the evil
That conceived you
Was in manifest.
How do you look at yourself in the mirror and not cringe?
There are guns, and knives.
Then there is your penis, and your mind.

She said no. It meant no. And not yes.

#SayNoToRape Day5

Written by Caleb Olorunmaiye

@_ceefour

I Was Raped!

#SayNoToRape Day4

This a true life story!!!

********

My name is Efe and I finished from UNIBEN. That's all I will be willing to share on this platform as I crave my anonymity.

Where do I begin from? I am a rape victim and now .....

It all started some few years ago while I was seeking admission into the tertiary. I was eager and full of life. I had a friend that our relationship is purely platonic because I surely have a feeling most guys are interested in the triangle between my legs.

Let's call his name Jeff. He was cute and easy going, and has a way with words. He carry himself in an aristocratic way and commands respect of student because of his air of superiority he evoke. Ummm, am I eulogizing him? Far be it from me. I am just saying the obvious. I lost contact with him when he eventually gained admission into the university.

I went for pre-degree but eventually wasn't good enough for the admission because I was carried away by the liberty just trusted unto me unbidden. I lost focus and fail woefully.

Thank God for another year JAMB opportunity. I sat for the exam and passed. I got admitted into UNIBEN and wow my dream of studying Industrial microbiology becomes a reality.

I was staying with my God-mother until when I will be able to put my foot on ground. The day for my matriculation soon came and I was buzzing with happiness. I was still intact and untouched below the belt, you get my gist! A vir....

My godmother soon got a call from home and she ran home immediately without sharing in my joyful celebration. "Tsack! Such is life" , I sigh in Ibadan accent.

I am not a particularly party person but I was overjoyed to see Jeff in same school with me and especially as a "staylite". We gisted and talked for most of the day after the matriculation and he insisted in following me to my off campus hostel.

He stayed put even when the hour was getting late. I urged him to leave but he shrug, what are you afraid of? He said for the umpteenth time and I relaxed.

He slept on the couch, my temporary sleeping space while I make do with my godmother's bed in her absence.

In the middle of the night, I was dreaming about the long soothing conversation with a friend from the past. I felt the presence even before the touch, I saw another Jeff with sweat glistering his forehead, eyes bulging with animalistic desire and his third leg threatening to burst the seams of his trouser. His hands were groping everything under my dress without invitation. I open my mouth to scream but in a flash he stuff some clothing into opened mouth.

I pleaded and whimper but Jeff tore off my undies and with carefulness of a pervert thrust his bulging manhood into me, tearing my fragile hymen and taking away my innocence with it.

Every thrust with damaged my self-worth, dignity and every iota of my personality. After the damage done, he looked at me like a trash and whipped his bloody flaccid member on my lacy white and shredded panties. Leaving me with the damaged ego and damaged panties.

I refused to tell anyone but the scar of the event and the damage done to my psyche is irreparable. I avoided men like plague but that also couldn't heal or help me.

Six months down the line, he came begging me that it was the devil's work and that he love me blah blah blah. His sweet nonsense was irritating me but I played along because I have my well planned and thought out revenge package for him. I agree to date him but guess what? Revenge is sweet when served cold.

******
As I keep saying, any man that rape a woman is less than an animal because in their wretchedness they don't RAPE. I stand up against all forms of domestic violence and rape.

Isaacola AA
@newnaija on twitter

Rape & The blame game

A popular saying goes “a problem shared is half solved.” Yes!

But a heart bottled in the pain of humiliation can never know

peace. The issue of rape is that which is discussed and shared

amongst us, but yet without the simplest solution.

This is very perturbing, and thus has sounded the alarm within

us to keep on speaking till we can reduce or inhibit this violence

and ungodly act.

Let us not fold our arms and watch our ‘PRIDE’ being trampled

upon and tormented without giving it a fight.

Rape is fiercer than a civil war, yet if we must win this battle,

we must fight with our heart and not watch on.

#Bloggersville presents.

“The pain of a withered rose, a

trumpet for war.”

#SayNoToRape Day III

Are Rape Victims To Blame For Their Predicament?

YES Because:

By dressing provocatively, being promiscuous, encouraging male attention with overt flirting and teasing, drinking excessively and by knowingly placing themselves in situations where they can be attacked like walking a deserted path home, some women consciously place themselves in danger of being sexually assaulted and are partly to blame.

To use a common comparison, if a man walks down a dark alley in a rough neighborhood with his money clip out, or engaging in other ostentatious displays of wealth, would we say he was completely without responsibility if he were robbed? We would likely conclude that while it was not his fault, and while he did not deserve it, he does bear some responsibility for putting himself in such a situation. On the other hand, he might be robbed in his driveway.

Similarly, the fact that some women are raped in circumstances in which they bear no responsibility does not absolve others who put themselves at risk of bearing some small amount of responsibility.

NO Because:

If it were true that the fashion of the day was the reason for the rape of women – then how could it be that rape exists in countries where women are not dressing according to western
fashions? Does every attractive young woman become a victim of rape? No that it is not a logical reason to suggest that Rape Victims are partly to blame. What could we say of an elderly woman or man who is raped by those who commit these crimes?

The reality is that no woman or man is going to knowingly place themselves in a situation of seeking rape. But there are many who are raped because of other situations – such as not being able to afford safe public transport – having no option but to walk a lonely path home. Sure there are cases where the social situation seems to contribute but it is not the environment but the rapist who commits the crime.

The affirmative argument has but one purpose to allow rapists and those who sympathize with them the opportunity to feel as the victims of a crime. Feeling encouraged or in a good position to commit a crime isn’t an excuse to commit a crime.

YESBecause:

A victim should fight their rapist or try to resist, as if they didn’t they could have been seen as consenting or consenting at the time and regretting it later on. If rape is about violence and control and not about sex then there should be evidence of injury on the victim. When the victim does not fight back then they should be considered partly to blame.

NOBecause:

This is a very common myth both in popular thinking or rape and in the criminal justice system. If a victim does not fight back or if there is a lack of injuries on their body then this is not a sign they need to take some responsibility for what happened. Many victims submit to the violence and control for fear that they will be harmed further or killed if they resist or try to fight back.

For victims it can just be about surviving the attack. A lack of injuries does not mean the assumption must be they consented.

YESBecause:

The notion that rape is a crime that is about power rather than sex is to look at the issue solely from the victim’s point of view. If we wish to understand the phenomenon in its entirety, we must also look at it from the perpetrators point of view.

There are clearly many ways in which a violent individual may express violent tenancies that do not involve rape. Football hooliganism would be one example. That a rapist chooses rape instead of these other means, suggests that for them, rape IS about sex as well as power.

If we are to offer effective advice to people on how to protect themselves and minimize the possibility of themselves becoming victims: we must recognise the sexual dimension of the crime and tailor our advice accordingly. This includes encouraging people not to engage in behaviour which is liable to make them more vulnerable or more attractive to a potential predator.

NOBecause:

The idea that a rape victim can be partly to blame is based on the idea that once aroused the rapist can no longer control themselves. Study has shown this to be untrue and completely ignores the point that rape is about violence and control and not about the act of sex.

There you have it… What’s your thought on this issue? Join the debate, leave comments below.

Written by Glowville

www.glowville.wordpress.com

@glow_ville

Chain Reaction

A popular saying goes “a problem shared is half solved.” Yes! But a heart bottled in the pain of humiliation can never know peace. The issue of rape is that which is discussed and shared amongst us, but yet without the simplest solution.

This is very perturbing, and thus has sounded the alarm within us to keep on speaking till we can reduce or inhibit this violence and ungodly act.

Let us not fold our arms and watch our ‘PRIDE’  being trampled upon and tormented without giving it a fight.

Rape is fiercer than a civil war, yet if we must win this battle, we must fight with our heart and not watch on.

#Bloggersville presents “The pain of a withered rose, a trumpet of war.”

#SayNoToRape

*grunt* 

*sniff*

*thrust*

*sniff*

*grunt*

This is the usual rhythm of my love making. I will go on until my libido has been satiated and my final grunt has been heard. I do not bother to look at the tears streaming down the face of my partner nor am I bothered about the cuts and bruises I have left on her vagina and body. Those cuts on her vagina did not happen because I have a huge member, it is actually quite small. They are as a result of the force and brutality which characterizes my love making. Please, do not insult me and call it sex; I only make love. You are probably thinking that I am crazy or a perv, right? You won't be the first. My name is Dr. Gentle Adigwe (yes, the name is a big irony) and I am going to tell you my story.

I would skip the beginning and tell you what you want to know. I was twelve years old and in JSS 3 when Nwanne, the help called me into her room and ordered me to take off my shorts. I laughed at her joke and told her that I will 'tell my mummy for her'. I took my words back when she put a knife against my throat and told me to 'try it'. She took my shorts down and started stroking me. I was too scared and couldn’t get it up and she ended up making me fondle her breasts and touch her privates. Nwanne didn't come to my room again until two weeks later. This time, she came with a rope and tied me to a chair. She performed my first oral on me and managed to get it up. She started humping on it and soon as she saw that I was enjoying it, she gave me a slap. I started crying and that was what made her cum. This continued for two years until she got married and left. I still have marks all over my body from canes, slaps, cuts and bites. All this while I had never ejaculated because Nwanne never allowed it.

I met Njideka when I was fifteen. She was posted to my school for her Nysc and I was the head boy. One thing led to another and I waylaid her one evening. I told her that I loved her and she laughed at me. I simply brought out the knife in my pocket and asked her to strip and lie down on the floor. She started begging me and I realised that I was aroused. I didn't even have to tell her to blow me like Nwanne used to do. Jide was my first sexual conquest and with her I experienced my first orgasm. I went home that day and I knew that I was powerful. It felt better because I knew that she would never tell a soul.

After Jide, I made love to a couple of girls; yes, it was love making not rape. Most of them seduced me and wanted to put up a fight when I was ready for them. Stupid girls! The struggle only made it sweeter for me.
I graduated as the best student in my department. I had raped, errrrm, made love to uncountable scores of girls at that time. I tried to do it right and be gentle, honestly, I did. I actually 'toasted' a girl. I endured all the rubbish she put me through and waited patiently for the cookie. When it was time to eat it, I just couldn't get it up because I couldn't hurt her. She thought it was her fault and she convinced me to “do what I want to”. She never spoke to me again after that day.

I specialised in Obstetrics and Gynaecology because I had learnt a wonderful way to continue with my deeds during my internship. Word on the streets is that I am the best 'abortion doctor' around. It is also well known that if you do not have money, I am very willing to help out. What did they not know is that I drug them and have sex with them (against their will of course) before the abortion. All through the years my philosophy has always been the same....F**k! and do not get *f**ked!!!". Did I tell you that I had my way with Nwanne in her husband's house when she was heavily pregnant? My best act yet. I went to visit her when I was eighteen and I tied her to a chair and had my way with her. Her screams and tears made it worthwhile.

Thing is, I have a lovely wife. We have been married for five years and we have two kids. I have never had sex with her on her terms. It just doesn’t work for me. I thought she would get used to my method but she still hasn’t. How can she when that would defeat the whole purpose? I am surprised that she hasn’t left me, actually. To reduce the pain I inflict on her, I satiate my cravings with other girls. I rape them (yes, I agree) because that is the only way I can feel pleasure. Their screams and pleas make me happy. I am not a sadomasochist; I know this because my wife has made me try BDSM. It was disgusting!!! That is not what gives me pleasure. It is forcing the lady against her wish that gives me joy. The fact that I am the only one deriving pleasure from the act is more satisfying than I can explain.

I am writing this because I have finally accepted that I am a rapist. When I looked at the tears streaming down the face of the ten year old, virgin, aramajiri girl that I raped last night, I knew that I had a problem. I have never told anyone my story. My wife doesn’t even know why I behave the way I do. I used to believe that my life was ruined and so other people’s lives should be ruined too. That was in the past, I have a change of heart now. The truth is I love my wife and I would really love to make her happy. I would love to be able to kiss and caress her and make her feel pleasure but I cannot. Well, I am hoping that soon I will be able to. Please, I need help.

My name is Dr. Gentle Adigwe and I am a rapist.

I know that a lot of people have stories like this to tell. Tales of how they were molested in their childhood and so became scarred after that. Tales of how they were bullied, and they developed inferiority complexes. Truth is there is no excuse that is enough. There is absolutely no reason to rape another person. If your partner is interested in BDSM and you decide to participate, then good for you but if he/she says NO, the No should stand. I pray that the God Lord helps the victims that need closure and may he give rapists the grace to live normal, loving lives in Jesus’ name. Amen.

written by: Shughar.wordpress.com