LEARNING TO LOVE

Wrote this years ago.. just found it and i thought it might still make sense though

The word "LOVE" comes to mind in nearly all strata of our daily dealings in life, 60% of this times it is in a male female context that we interpret as relationships or more technically dating, then we have families, friends and generally the world we know or that which we know little or nothing about. Four letters makes the word "LOVE" in English language, three letters do the magic in Yoruba language "IFE" and so on with diverse representation in various languages and culture in Nigeria and the world over.

God tells us a lot about love in the scriptures… yes a lot but I can only remember a few of those right now. There are some part of the Bible where it says

"Owe no man nothing but love"---More like an instruction for compassion, not sounding like a must do.

"Husbands love your wife as the Lord loves the church"---A command, leaves no room for options.

"Love your neighbours as yourself"---I think this command was issued somewhere in Leviticus (old school)

"Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who insult you and persecute you"---This is the big one and it’s in the new school Mat 5:44/6:27 and that's the KJV of it. There are more but I can't dig it all up right now.

All that I have listed above are basically instructions from God that we must embrace and obey but a question somehow got stuck in my head. Knowing I have to love every human dead or alive somehow no matter the level of diversity of the relationship existing between us  all calls for different modes and intensity/degree of love. This sounds like a great task, I think I will be needing a whole lot of grace and mercy.

Love for me is not an emotional phenomenon although it has the strand of affection attached to it. It is a feeling that should exist naturally and should be devoid of deceit and found naturally amongst all things living (Animals, plants, viruses etc), spirits (angels, demons etc) and none living things (rivers, gems, etc). Love for me should be cognitive, developable, controllable and totally devoid of emotion (when required) that could be one sided or mutual depending on the parameters substantiating the relationship existing between the two love elements. I have friends and enemies that I have been able to love and they somehow became brothers. It begins professionally sometimes and but we figured it out and now we've gone the whole length of friendship to become family. I sat down to do some analysis and got a bit locked in this thought process, so I thought maybe sharing this will help.

Case 1: Love is caring  I guess?

Imagine this scenario.

I have a female colleague or class mate (a girl and I am a guy). Based on my own unbiased understanding of the instructions in Romans,  I decided to be a  bit more caring and affectionate, truthfully and nice. How do I get this simple message or love across without making her feel the emotional kind of love she knows or probably running through her veins? How do I explain that I am only obeying God's commandment without making the matter more complicated.

Case 2:

Can someone please help with this?

How do I make the girl next door understand that her new undergraduate status or the fact that I just got back from the states that is making me say hi to her, that it's because I know her before the change of status and that shouldn’t bore a whole in her mind or perception because everybody else that said hi to her since her hips got bigger while I was away wanted a piece of it. How should I attempt to get across and not have it interpreted as a chase or my looking away be conceived as pride. Is it the world around her that as tuned her perception, making her a cynic or should I go spiricoco just to make it look like I just want nothing more. How will my friendly gestures and rueful smiles not be continuously misinterpreted for the love flesh even though it is the love of God for a friend I once had and have always known before the big break in transmission necessitated by the pursuit of value and excellence?

Case 3:

What defines the love I have or feel for a woman? My appearance or her perception. Why is she all careful and think it is pure deception even when it is pure genuine desire. Why is she not cool with the truth, why will a sister prefer the flattery and daily eschew the brother that speaks the truth from the heart. Why the chase? How do you make the truth sound sweet without putting the lies she loves to hear?  Why will she prefer a lying tongue to the truth the scriptures speaks in white and black and claim to be a Christian. How will a man really love a woman who desires deception from deep within? What is love got to do in such situation and how does love apply.

Pardon the stupidity of this post but love hey!

The curves of love are sharper than the meanders of the Zambezi river and the edge steeper than the edges of a rake angle. Though many a times we seek to do that which the Lord instruct, the complicated nature of this abstract feeling makes it a perfect but incorrigible and inconsistent no go area especially for me at steeper degree and in-comprehensive levels. Although I believe in love because I feel it in different ways every day, it is multifaceted and thus should be treated as a field of study and not just a word we use whenever we feel have brain generated instantaneous emotional feeling.

Jacob made it sound simple though "he saw, comforted and loved her" just like that… I think it should be that simple. I hope to work and walk in that realm someday, and I hope the sister will be receptive live Rachael abi who be that Jacob victim self.

I am still learning how to love though, my many mums are teaching me but if you know how to do it better, come teach me.. I am ready to pay for the knowledge because I am the no 1 fan of love right now.

Why the world is a "Piece of Shit"

A man once asked me ... Why is the world so shitty and messed up, unfair and cranked and you keep telling me there is a God... I smiled and shared this story with him.


*A young man went into a barbers shop to have a cut and when the barber was done, he deeped into his pocket to pay the barber but the barber refused to collect a dime from him.. He simply told him

"I assume this is your first time here, the cuts are free"

the young man was astonished and he asked..

"then why are all those people outside going around looking so unkept, why don't you just go ahead and give then a clean cut and make them look good?"

the old barber answered with a calm voice

"I will gladly make them look good only if they come to me, the shop is open all day long and as you can see, there are empty sits and barbers on standby, there is even a sign on the door that says it is free, I was surprised you didnt notice it because they sometimes read it aloud and laugh as they walk by but they just refuse to walk in through that door. I would have loved to go after them but then my clippers won't be working without being plugged in to a power source. My son, a few people have walked in just like you did and when they go out and tell them the cuts are really free, they just mock them and say how can that be? Nothing is free anywhere but the truth  is that this shop is powered by a rich philantropist so we are never in need of money or resources because we have a strong backbone. Go on, go out and tell them maybe a few will come... we've had some referals but most of the people that have made it down here are the rare ones like you with genuine desire to look and feel good."*


The world is shitty because we choose to stay away from God. He gave us choice and we abused it, we daily lean on our own understanding instead of tapping into the freely given resources of the kingdom that God made available for us in abundant measure. We want to be the defining factor when we should connect with the one that defined us and made us who we are.. I bet no product can define its use, the maker does the definition of purpose. We are like cars trying to swim because we see boats doing it, then we end up in murky waters and complain the manufacturer is not caring or even claim the maker doesn't exist at all. Where I come from, there is a proverbial saying that goes does " A stream that decides to disconnect or forget its source will definitely run dry". That's what happens to us when we play Mr. Intelligent and dissociate or try to live without the existence of God the maker of all things...

The fool says in his heart, there is no God.... Ps 14.1....

Quit looking miserable, the barber's shop is still open today, sits are still very empty..... :(  Will you walk in and get a free cut?

New York Hair Salon Provides Free Haircuts To Unemployed

Elnathan John- The Dark Corner: HOW TO WORSHIP THE NIGERIAN GOD

Elnathan John- The Dark Corner: HOW TO WORSHIP THE NIGERIAN GOD: The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, ad...

True Stories.. But the gods are to be blamed

I still can't seem to believe I am still here today, taking into cognisance who I am, what I have been through and the kind of world I live in as a Nigerian... omo Mehn! medically I should be gone. 

I was born in a totally sane and moral environment, believe me; the first lines of word I read were not "Alli and Simbi" although I knew Agbo lives in the town of Lagoon. My first textual conflagration were the crisp sweet sounding words of the psalmist in the Yoruba bible "Atoka" that my mum BANGED down my conscious and subconscious everyday (except Sundays) and I love reading them till  forever, so they became a part of me. Don't get holy and spiritual on me yet, I grew up on the street too and I could differentiate the smell of St. Moritz from Rothmans and Benson from a mile away… don’t say haaa! So you thought it was only MaryJ that smells differently? I knew my limits and I broke those limits a few times… so few that I can't forget breaking my limits but hey! that's for the street. I had a fair share of the good and the ugly and I have never had a bad day in my whole life… and the ugly were those moments when I had to fight for everything.  At home, in church, in school, everywhere I go, I was a force and an undeniable figure.

My life, good grades, friendship, family and foes at times and even the smiles I have on my face now are from the victories I won, the defeats are irrelevant because when I am knocked down, I don't stay down, I  get up again and knockout whatever it was that knocked me down… I found a stone for every  Goliath I came across in those Psalms and Proverbs, and the street thought me how to sling my shots so well that I have never been lucky enough to miss a shot… I dodged and parried a lot, but  for every shot I have made, believe me… no survivals. In all of my victory, I have been faced with this seemingly unbeatable system that brings death and we all just seem to hand over to God. It's neither the Nigerian Police, nor Nigerian  Politics or Rulership, those problems are not uniquely a Nigerian situations, they are problems peculiar to the world as a whole, only that CNN and BBC et al have made a success of reporting about others while they pull a wool on the eyes of the rest of the world about what goes on in their own backyard… It's about the Nigerian Health system, our doctors and the medical practice in Nigeria as a whole.

I will name names, point fingers and substantiate my claims with fact, maybe someone somewhere will see this and act accordingly because I don't seem to have a stone for this Goliath and the David's of this situation are just too sober and downtrodden with the pain of their loss that they still hand over back to God, the battles he has given them the weapon of victory for… with the hands of their enemies tied to their back.

George Chimezie Egbuchulam

I got this BBM broadcast from my Lil Sis in July 2012 about George Chimezie Egbuchulam and because she never get's to BC anything other than her business, I called her to confirm the authenticity of the BC and she was so passionate about saving his life because they were friends that I didn’t ask a single question further, I started telling people to help and was ready to put in my widows might too. It was a craze for me and I became a crusader for life. I went online and found this on George's FB page.

Even on his own sick/death bed, he was reaching out for the lives of others. After the test in July, his brother was a perfect match and the Ops was scheduled for October due to the number of patients and preparation of his brother for the Ops. A few days later, George was elated and posted on his FB page that the funds were good and ready, thanking all that donated a dime, nickel or kobo for making it happen that was on 18th of July, and by August 24th, he reminded us that his surgery was just a month away and that was the last we heard from him.

The operation was never carried out and we lost George Chimezie Egbuchulam  in Dec 2012, three months month after the date scheduled for the operations, not because of lack of fund or donor, but because UCH kept postponing the Ops for no good reasons until George took his last breathe. 

The story of George's battle was everywhere when he was fighting for his life, 

Click to read Omojuwa.com 

                      Lolade

                      LadunLiadi

                      Daily Tribune 

and more but 'what became of him", nobody knew...

Nobody was, questioned arrested, sued or brought to book for unhealthy health practices and George was gone with the wind. UCH still stands and till this morning, I am yet to hear a single good news from that sources other than story of medical neglect death of patients.

Sweet Heart

I remember calling Dayo a mad goat when he broke the news to me, it was almost unimaginable and I just felt it was a joke but not until I called home and I was told she's gone to be with the Lord. I was too afraid to cry, my pores became wet and my tongue twisted in silence. I wasn't going to ask, I got angry because of the love I had for her and my brother, I couldn't control it... I started asking questions, why should she leave now, it was too early, she wasn't due already, I felt anger and pain and my brain couldn't take it all at once. A minute of dementia and everyone around me kept asking questions but I had no answers at all, all I had was the tears in my eyes... and I am still shedding them as I write now with my fist cladded in a band, but my heart won't let me feel this pain now. I am waiting to exhale.

The doctors could have helped her, they had the go ahead to do a CS but they wanted her to push a little more until she pushed and broke the thin line between life and death. I couldn't cry when I picked her up at the morgue on her final journey to mother earth, I only asked her why she wouldn't hold on just a second more, just for Ruby to see her face.

We cry and smile now and all we sing now is "put the blame on me". The general hospital still stands, no doctor(s) was sued, nobody questioned, Life Goes On.

Olamide

Olamide was just a bit over three years old when she was supposedly diagnosed with cancer... Yep! she didn't have no cancer but she was declared a Leukemia patient at the prestigious Lagos State University Teaching  Hospital (LASUTH). They started the cancer of the blood treatment procedures without being sure of it, they called it Acute Lymphoblastic leukemia... She was later referred to UCH (that old dreaded place) and they started; yes.. chemotherapy without conducting proper tests to confirm the recommendation of LASUTH.

Olamide's kept detoriorating so her parent decided to take her to the United States because they loved her too much and they could afford it. There they got the shocker and a revelation that they couldn't help but bath in tears for the pain she's been through.

Olamide was clean and there was no single cancerous cell in her body or blood. I wonder what happened here in Nigeria... was the problem  with the equipments or the medical personnel.. how did almighty UCH miss it all together... The good news was that she didn't have Leukemia but the sad tale was that the cancer treatment and chemo she was given in LASUTH and UCH had successfully damaged her spleen and her bone marrow... her body was no longer producing red blood cells and eventually, she died in the USA because she was poisoned with the leukemia treatment procedures from her beloved Nigeria.

Miguel accidentally drop-kicked a girl during his performance yesterday and he's probably getting a brain damage lawsuit for it, Dr. Delia got sued by Emilia's parent for negligence by the troubled doctor who delivered  her (read the full story here Delia) but in Nigeria, two reknowned medical institution, a federal and a state hospital across two states poisoned and killed little Olamide with cancer treatment when she didn't even have single cancerous cell in her body her parent are just leaving it for God to judge.

George's operation was postpone for months when everything was in place for it to go on, and we lost him to the cold hands of death... and nobody is asked, because he was just another dead victim of kidney problems.

Sweetheart is gone now and we can only put the blames on ourselves and wish we had flown her to yankee like a MPs wife to deliver Isabelle. Nobody is going legal for the obvious medical malpractices that led to it...

People die in hospitals all over the world but not this way. There are a million more cases of neglect in our medical institutions, the oath is just a oath and nothing more for Nigerian doctors especially in public hospitals. 

When are we going to leave God out of this situation and treat each others fuck up? 

WHO WILL CALL THE LAW TO STOP THIS MEDICAL MENACE in Nigeria?

When will Nigerians do the right thing?

When are we going to put caution in place, make a mince of one the too many defaulters so that the medical practice is taken the way it should be all over the world?

This stories are true and real.. But the gods are to be blamed!